I hate this time of the year, thought Elf Bumble Brisbee. It’s always so busy. Between going to school, and afterward, working at the toy factory, there’s no time to relax and enjoy life.
Him and his girlfriend were so busy that they couldn’t even see each other.
He wanted to go to a place where a teenager – he was only eighteen – could chill out.
He wanted to go to America. Land of the free – video games weren’t that expensive – and home of the brave. Many shoot-em-up video games.
It was Christmas Eve and Santa would be leaving soon. He would be going all over the world delivering presents. This was his chance.
He decided to climb into the back of Santa’s sleigh, and hide among the toys, and go with him. And as Santa was delivering presents… he would be looking for a new home.
And he did just that.
But the first million homes that Santa visited were disappointing.
Los Angeles was too hot and so was Miami. And Las Vegas was even worse. He felt like he was in a desert. And while he was in Las Vegas he lost ten bucks.
And even though the guy that owned the casino wanted to make him a host, and he would greet people as they came into the casino… he refused.
He couldn’t see living in a place without snow.
They finally arrived in Scranton, Pennsylvania. This was perfect. Mounds of snow and cold weather.
When they arrived, it was snowing. White snowflakes… How beautiful.
And he finally found the right home. It was a few miles from Scranton, and the house was enormous. At least five bedrooms. He always liked big houses.
Santa was squeezing himself down the chimney of the big house, and Rudolph and the other reindeer were helping him.
He seemed to be stuck.
This was his chance. The elf climbed out of the sleigh. He made sure not to make any noise. Santa and the reindeer had really good hearing.
He hid in the bushes until Santa left and started walking around the house. The front door was locked and so were the windows. He took out some witch’s dust from his right trouser pocket, and walked back to the front of the house. He sprinkled the witch’s dust on the door.
The door unlocked itself.
He thought, this witch’s dust is great.
He got it from a witch last Christmas after he made her a barbie doll. The witch always wanted one. She in turn, gifted him with the witch’s dust.
It was better than pixie dust. With pixie dust all you could do was fly. And sometimes it didn’t work that well. He crash landed a few times.
And the little boy that sold him the pixie dust, Peter Pan, refused to refund his money.
He opened up the door and once inside he started walking around. It was very late at night, and everyone was asleep.
Except in this one bedroom. The light was on. He knocked on the door, but no one answered.
He had to stand on his toes to open the door, and he entered a room that reeked of something burning. It smelled like his older brother’s socks. Even worse.
The teenager at the computer didn’t even notice him. He was playing a video game and had a headset on and was listening to loud music and laughing. And he was smoking this awful foul-smelling cigarette.
Elf Bumble Brisbee tapped him on the shoulder.
“Excuse me, my name is Elf Bumble Brisbee. Who might you be?”
“Dude,“ said James in a hostile manner. “You just distracted me and made me lose a man.”
James turned around and looked at the elf, who was barely three feet tall. He started laughing and exhaled.
The smoke came pouring out of his mouth and nose. He looked like a dragon exhaling fire.
He said to himself out loud, “Cool! This stuff is really good. I wonder what they put in it. I’m hallucinating. I’m seeing a midget with a pointy green hat and red clothing. Wow!”
“Can you please put that out,” said Elf Bumble Brisbee. “It really stinks. And I’m not a midget… I’m an elf.”
James leaned over and pinched the elf on his cheek.
“Ow!” yelled the elf. “Why did you do that?”
A startled James said, “I wanted to see if you were real.”
“I am real,” said the elf, as he kicked James in the leg.
“Ow!” yelled James. “Why did you do that?”
“I wanted to see if you were real too,” said the mischievous elf. “Now that we’ve established that we’re both real… Do you have a place where I can sleep tonight? I’m really tired. I just visited over a million homes.”
James started laughing. “This stuff is really good.”
“You didn’t answer my question. Do you have a place where I can sleep tonight?”
“You can sleep on the floor. My friends do it all the time. But you’re going to have to change your appearance.”
“Why?”
“Because,” said James laughing, “you look like an elf.”
The elf went into his right pants pocket and took out some witch’s dust, and splashed it on his face.
The witch’s dust made James sneeze. He walked over to his bed and lied down. He needed to rest. He wasn’t feeling well.
James couldn’t believe what he was seeing. The elf turned into a guy that was over six feet tall and very handsome.
“Wow,” said James. “Can you make me tall and handsome like that?”
The elf ignored the question and stretched and yawned. He asked, “Where can I sleep?”
“Anywhere,” said James. “You can sleep on the side of my bed or even underneath the bed. The only problem is my dad. I just hope he doesn’t come into my room. He doesn’t like it when my friends sleepover and I don’t get his permission.”
“I’ll sleep in the closet. He won’t be able to see me through the door.”
“That’s a great idea,” said a laughing stoned James.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” said the elf, as he went into the closet and shut the door behind him.
“Yeah right,” said a laughing James.
He knew that he was hallucinating. It had to be from the pot. He didn’t build any model airplanes today… it couldn’t be from the glue.
He knew that when he got up in the morning that there wouldn’t be an elf in his closet.
He set his alarm clock to ring early in the morning. Just in case. He would check out the closet just to make sure.
In the morning, James got up to a ringing alarm clock and looked in the closet. He was right. He was just hallucinating. There wasn’t any elf in the closet.
And he made sure to look thoroughly. The elf might be hiding.
He felt relieved but also in a way sad. It would have been nice to have an elf roommate.
He had the munchies from smoking all that pot and decided to go downstairs and into the kitchen and get something to eat.
When he entered the kitchen he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. There was the guy – the elf – and his mom was making breakfast.
His mom said to him angrily, “Didn’t your father tell you that if you’re going to have a friend sleepover you have to let him know. You’re lucky it’s Saturday and he’s still in bed.”
“Sorry mom,” said James. “This is my friend Daniel.”
He always wanted to have a friend named Daniel.
His mom looked at his friend Daniel and you could see the look of disgust on her face. It darkened James’ mood.
“He told me,” said mom, “that his name was Elf Bumble Brisbee.”
“He was only kidding mom.”
Daniel, the elf, asked, “Where’s the bathroom?”
James didn’t say anything. He was still shocked. He was so shocked that he forgot where the bathroom was.
His mom said, “It’s upstairs on the left.”
When the elf left the kitchen, his mom asked, “Are any of your friends normal?”
“What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong? When I walked into the kitchen this morning, I found your friend, with his face buried in a plate that was filled with my chocolate and peppermint candy. He wasn’t even using his hands to eat. That’s why I made him pancakes. I figured he must be starving. But instead of eating the pancakes he drank the whole bottle of maple syrup. And now he’s on his second bottle.”
“He has a sweet tooth,” said James.
His mom’s eyes nearly rolled to the back of her head. As she left the kitchen she said, “I have to do laundry. After you finish eating… clean up the mess.”
“I will mom.”
“And by the way, when I walked into the kitchen this morning I was practically naked. Don’t ever have anyone sleepover again… without letting me know.”
James noticed, as his mom was leaving the kitchen, that there was something wrong with her. Something didn’t seem right. But he couldn’t put his finger on it.
He got up to take a closer look and watched as she walked away. That’s when he realized that her butt was three times its normal size.
He thought, My goodness, doesn’t she realize it? Doesn’t she feel it?
When the elf, Daniel, walked back into the kitchen that was one of the first things James asked him about. He asked him about the size of his mom’s butt. It was enormous.
“She upset my peaceful flow,” said the elf.
“What does that even mean?” asked a confused James.
“She made me mad,” said the elf. “She was yelling at me for eating her chocolate and peppermint candy. So I sprinkled some witch’s dust on her butt. Why?”
“What the elf!”
“What’s the problem?”
“The problem is,” said James, while wondering if he was still hallucinating, “my dad might notice it.”
“He might like it,” said the elf. “You’re worrying too much.”
You can go to Amazon.com and read free samples. Type in John Saccone and the books will magically appear.
The Christmas Tree series are thrilling holiday adventures filled with magic, mystery, and historical wonders. Margaret and her best friend Billy embark on a series of extraordinary journeys through time and space, all thanks to the magical Christmas Tree given to her by the mysterious Mr. Magi.
Each decoration on the tree holds a secret, unlocking enchanted worlds, historical events, and even encounters with legendary figures. From the bustling streets of ancient Rome to mystical lands filled with elves and Hrinoffs, Margaret and Billy’s adventures bring them face-to-face with awe-inspiring and sometimes perilous experiences.
Along the way, they uncover hidden lessons about courage, friendship, and the true meaning of the holiday spirit.
Blending holiday magic with time-traveling excitement, The Christmas Tree series is a heartwarming and imaginative tale perfect for readers of all ages who believe in the wonder of Christmas and the power of adventure. And most importantly the power of Almighty God.
Photo by Robert Thiemann on Unsplash
Fictional stories by John Saccone 
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