Isn’t it strange how life’s good fortunes can change in an instant and our lives be shattered in that moment.
Life!
That’s what they gave me. That sentence was five years ago. And every day since I’ve been in prison I come up with a different scenario. A different story.
It helps to ease my mind.
Sometimes I ride off into the sunset, a happy man.
Sometimes I meet a beautiful young woman at a club. And we fall madly in love.
Sometimes I just forgive May and Jeffrey.
Sometimes I don’t even find the soap dish. And May and I spend the rest of our lives together in wedded bliss.
There are so many variations of the truth. And some fools even believe it’s subjective. But the truth is… there is only one truth.
After I saw the photos of May and Jeffrey naked and in bed, I grabbed a hold of one of Jeffrey’s golf clubs, from his golf club bag that he had in the closet and slowly descended the stairs.
A sea of emotions clouded my thoughts, and blinding anger bathed my mind. It flooded my better judgement.
We are taught from the cradle to become echoes and choose routine and familiarity over risks.
We are taught to cheer and clap for others.
We are taught to laugh with the laugh track… and we don’t even realize it.
We are groomed to be followers.
Perhaps if I would have stayed a sheep, I would have chosen a different path. But I was sculpted over time to repay a wound with an injury.
And people like me… we don’t turn the other cheek.
When Jeffrey saw me, he said laughingly, “Are you going to play golf?”
I must have had a crazed look on my face. He immediately asked, “What’s wrong?”
That’s the last thing I heard him say.
I hit him hard in the head and face a few times with the golf club. May was screaming.
I started hitting her. And hitting her and hitting her.
I stopped when I saw some of her teeth on the floor.
Diane didn’t move. She just kept screaming and screaming. She was paralyzed with fear.
She couldn’t run away.
Diane was a nice woman. She never did anything to harm me. We had a good relationship.
She even had two kids with her ex-husband.
She was a mom.
It didn’t matter. I snapped!
I snapped and lost my mind.
In life I have suffered the slings and arrows of a thousand misfortunes… but combined, they paled, compared to this.
I have been lied to; deceived; conned; betrayed.
And my youthful exuberance and love of mankind over time was slain.
And with every wound and pain inflicted on me… I became more hateful. More spiteful. More vengeful. More dangerous.
I was never the type to forgive and forget.
Bottled up inside of me were the frustrations and injuries of a lifetime.
A thousand paper cuts, multiplied by a thousand.
Jeffrey was getting up. He was groggy. I yelled “Fore” and swung the golf club and split his head wide open.
By the time I finished hitting him, his head was in pieces.
I remember May screaming “Why?”
She knew why.
As her life was ending, she looked at me with fearful and sorrowful eyes. And then the light in her eyes went out.
I didn’t say anything as I ended her life.
Life!
That’s what they gave me. And every day since I’ve been in prison I come up with a different scenario. A different story.
There are so many variations of the truth. But the truth is… there is only one truth.
The truth came in the form of lightning and thunder. Shattering my ignorant bliss into a million pieces.
That’s when the cloak of darkness and secrecy that surrounded my life began to unravel. And that’s when I was able to peek behind the curtain.
That’s when this nightmare began.
Photo by Stefano Pollio on Unsplash
I welcome all comments.
Thanks for reading.
Fictional stories by John Saccone 
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